


Poetry in Motion

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-06-08
Updated: 2002-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-15 19:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14796734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: CJ reevaluates her life.





	1. Poetry in Motion

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

"Finally, the president accepts, with sincere regret, the resignation of Undersecretary of Commerce Sarah Stickler. He is deeply grateful to Ms. Stickler for her expert handling of international trade agreements over the past three years. She will be returning to her home in Massachusetts where she will join the faculty of the Kennedy Institute for Public Policy. She will also continue to counsel the President on a variety of issues.....Katie?" CJ looked across the pressroom and called on the reporter from the Boston Globe. 

"CJ, can you comment on the report that Ms. Stickler was forced out because of a disagreement with Secretary of Commerce Shanahan over trade policy with Japan?" 

"I disagree with that characterization completely," CJ said firmly. "Ms. Stickler has made clear that she is leaving her post in order to spend more time with her family. She wants to go back to Boston to be with her husband and two children who have continued to live there for the last three years. Secretary Shanahan has also made abundantly clear the loss he feels by the resignation of Ms. Stickler. He will continue to ask for her advice as we negotiate the trade agreement with Japan. There is no political warfare in this story, folks. It was a hard decision, but Sarah Stickler is satisfied that this works for her and her family." 

"Can I follow up that question," Katie asked. 

CJ nodded. 

"Do you think that if the roles had been reversed, if it had been Sarah Stickler's husband who held a cabinet level position in the Administration, he would have resigned because of family? And can I ask whether you believe that this is a family-friendly administration? Do women in the Bartlet administration have to choose between their careers and their families?" 

CJ took a moment to frame her response. "The Bartlet administration is strongly pro-family. We have proposed broad-ranging legislation in support of mothers and their children. I think it would be a serious mistake to read Ms. Stickler's decision to return to Boston as anything other than a personal family decision" and with that, CJ said, "That's it. I'm calling a full lid. See you tomorrow," and she picked up her binders and walked out of the room. 

Carol was waiting for her outside the pressroom door. CJ nodded distractedly and handed her the binders, while walking swiftly down the hall. 

"The First Lady is waiting for you in your office," Carol said, hustling to catch up with her boss. "Toby says he'll be late." 

"What?" CJ stopped and looked at her assistant. 

"You have a meeting with The First Lady and Toby to go over her visit tomorrow at the new Head Start center in Beltsville. She's scheduled to make some remarks about preschool education in America. You wanted to talk about other appearances in the upcoming month. Any of this ring a bell, CJ," Carol asked with a small smile. 

"Right, right," CJ answered and started walking again. 

"Something wrong?" Carol asked. 

"No, no. Just have a lot on my mind," CJ said. Before she opened the door to her office, she turned to Carol and asked, "Where did you say Toby was?" 

Carol looked down and started to hesitate. "He's out with..." 

"With Tabatha, right?" CJ said in a tight voice. 

"Yes," Carol admitted. 

"Well call him and tell him...tell him, and this is a direct quote from me, 'to get his poetic ass back here'," CJ said sharply. 

"A direct quote, huh?" Carol asked. 

"Damn straight," CJ snapped. She took a deep breath, looked back at Carol and muttered, "To hell with him. Just forget it," and pushed open her office door. 

"Good to see you Ma'am. Sorry to keep you waiting." 

"No problem, Claudia Jean. You did good in there," Abbey said turning away from the monitor that was a direct feed from the pressroom. "So do you think we're going to take a hit on Sarah Stickler's resignation?" 

"It'll be a story for a day or two if nothing else happens in the news, then fade away. I had lunch with Sarah last week and I know she's been struggling with this decision for a long time. She misses her husband and kids," CJ said. 

"Jack Stickler never did move down here, did he?" Abbey asked. 

"No, I think he was planning to originally, but then he couldn't move his research grant from Mass General Hospital to one in the DC area, and their kids are teens and didn't want to leave their friends, and...well, you know how it goes," CJ said resignedly. 

"Yeah, I do. And yet another member of the sisterhood takes a hit for her man," Abbey said irritably. 

"No, I don't know about that. Jack's a good guy. I think Sarah just got tired of the juggling act. Of course, unlike some of us, she had something to juggle," CJ said bitterly. Then sighed and added, "It's been a long day." She rubbed her eyes, ran her hands through her hair, and said, "I could use a drink. Want a beer? I've got some in the 'fridge." 

Abbey looked at CJ and saw that the press secretary was clearly stressed. 

"Yeah, sure. I could use a beer. You planning on getting drunk, Claudia?" Abbey asked with a smile. 

"Like we did at your birthday party?" CJ laughed ruefully. "Wouldn't be such a terrible idea." She got up, took two bottles from the small office refrigerator, searched for the bottle opener in her top desk drawer, popped the caps, and handed one bottle to Abbey. CJ took a long drag on her own beer before settling down in her desk chair. 

"So what's up, Claudia Jean?" Abbey asked. 

CJ took another swig, gathering her thoughts and courage. She looked at Abbey and said simply, "I've had enough. I'm quitting." 

Sequel - "Zachary and Jeannie"


	2. Poetry in Motion 2

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

"I know. I appreciate it, Abbey. I'm not turning in my letter of resignation yet," CJ smiled. "It's just something I've been thinking about for a while, probably since your birthday party." 

"So the idea of getting a cat doesn't appeal to you," Abbey laughed and opened her briefing book. 

For the next 10 minutes, CJ and Abbey reviewed the next day's planned events. Finally, Abbey looked at her watch and said, "Tell Toby I'll talk to him tomorrow. I've got to run. We're having guests for dinner." 

Abbey stood to walk out, when there was a brief knock and the door flew open. Toby stood there breathless, tie askew, cheeks flushed. 

"I'm sorry I'm late," he gasped. 

"That's ok, I went over everything with CJ. We'll talk tomorrow about the campaign." Abbey got to the door, looked at CJ and then at Toby, and said, "You know CJ. I've never known you to lose at any game you play." She brushed past Toby, closing the door behind her. 

CJ glared at Toby and started to put her folders into her briefcase. 

"I'm sorry. I...," Toby began. 

"It's fine," CJ interrupted, her voice short and firm. 

"We were going over the page proofs of the special edition we're issuing of Tabatha's new poem ..." he continued. 

"And you lost track of time," CJ finished. "I said it's not a problem. I handled it." 

"I didn't lose track of time," Toby began defensively. "The stupid Metro broke down and I had to run the last 6 blocks to get back." 

"It doesn't matter. I'm out of here," CJ said, moving past Toby. 

"Don't you want to talk about your meeting with Abbey?" Toby asked, confused. "It's only 7:30. Why are you leaving so early?" 

"I don't know. I've been here for 12 hours and threatened to quit four times. I think I'd better go home before I actually print out my letter of resignation," CJ said sarcastically. 

"What in God's name does that mean?" Toby countered. 

"It means that you can go to hell in iambic pentameter," and with that CJ stalked out the door. 


	3. Poetry in Motion 3

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

"Switch with me," CJ pleaded with Josh, as she stood with her palms on his desk, dressed in a floor-length, form-fitting red silk, strapless gown. She was dressed for a state dinner honoring the president of France. 

"No way. I'm not getting stuck at a table with two novelists, three poets, Sam and Toby. They're all going to talk in rhyme or something," Josh said firmly, looking up from his chair, dressed in his tux, his tie hanging loose around his neck as he awaited Donna's magic fingers to complete his outfit. 

"I'll buy you a case of YooHoo and take your next Block of Cheese Day stupid assignment," CJ offered. 

"I don't get it. You usually like to sit with Toby and make sarcastic comments about all the other guests. What's with you two lately?" Josh asked. 

"Nothing, nothing," CJ said quickly. "I just think the people at your table sound more interesting." 

"Yeah, right. Two nuclear physicists, four Silicon Alley computer types, and Senator Charles Gladstone who's 99 and still likes to pinch women," Josh said sarcastically. 

"Seriously, Josh. Do me a favor and switch," CJ asked quietly. 

Josh looked at her and realized she wasn't kidding around. She really didn't want her table assignment. "OK. You going to tell me what's going on?" 

Ignoring his question, CJ instead said, "Thanks, I really appreciate it. Do me another small favor, please. If anyone asks, just say I needed to sit with the guys from Silicon Alley." 

"Sure. Uh, CJ, you sure you don't want to talk about..." Josh started to say, but was quickly interrupted by CJ. "Thanks Josh. I owe you," and she turned on her heels and headed out his office door. 

Josh stood for a moment watching the retreating back of the Press Secretary. He shook his head and then bellowed, "Donna, Donna?" 

"Hold your horses, Josh," Donna yelled from the bullpen. 

"I can't get my tie straight and I've got to be at this stupid dinner in ten minutes," Josh whined. 

Donna arrived at his office door and crossed her arms, and waited, a small smile tugging at her lips. 

Josh fiddled with his bowtie a few more seconds, and finally giving up in frustration, he flashed a few dimples, and said, "Please." 

"Have you considered the clip-on kind?" Donna asked mischievously, as her fingers began to do their magic on the black silk. 

"That makes you look like a dork, a five-year-old dork I might add," Josh explained. 

"There," she said, patting the finished product and stepping back to take a look at her boss, who looked very dapper in his black tuxedo and white pleated shirt. 

"I wish you were going to be there," Josh said quietly, looking directly at his assistant. An unspoken thought passed between them and they smiled at each other. Then Donna chuckled and said, " But given who you're sitting with, I'm just as glad I wasn't invited to the dinner. Last time I sat next to Senator Gladstone I had bruises for days from where he pinched me." 

"I'm not sitting with Gladstone tonight," Josh confided. 

"Sure you are. I got your placecard this afternoon," Donna countered. 

"I know but CJ asked me to switch with her. She definitely didn't want to sit at the table with Toby. Do you know what's going on?" Josh asked. 

"I have a pretty good idea," Donna answered knowingly. 

"What?" 

"Who else is sitting at that table, Josh?" Donna pointed out. 

"Sam, Toby, Tabatha," Josh started to list the guests at the table. 

Donna gave Josh a long knowing look, but said nothing. 

"Oh," Josh said, finally understanding. "You think I should say something to Toby?" 

"No," Donna said firmly. "Sometimes you've just got to wait until somebody wakes up to what's right in front of them." 

"But suppose the other person doesn't have the patience she needs to wait for the idiot to wake up?" Josh pushed. 

"I don't think you can tell somebody this kind of stuff. He's got to realize it for himself," Donna said, taking a step closer to her boss. 

Josh put his hands on Donna's shoulders and looked in her eyes. "Thank you for waiting," he whispered. 

"It was worth it," Donna answered with a smile. 

"Let's just hope that Toby isn't as clueless for as long as ...," Josh said with a worried tone to his voice. 

"Shhh," Donna whispered, lightly kissing her boss on the lips. 


	4. Poetry in Motion 4

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

"Would you like to dance?" 

CJ looked up and gave a very relieved smile to her white knight standing by her chair, rescuing her from the clutches of the elderly, eternally horny Senator from South Carolina. 

"Excuse me, Senator," CJ said politely, rising to take Josh's hand. Gladstone nodded, patted CJ's hand, and then let his hand wander to CJ's rear, giving it a none-too-gentle goose. 

CJ and Josh walked quickly to the dance floor. 

"Thanks, yet again," CJ murmured as Josh took her in his arms. The band was playing 'Sentimental Journey', and the dance floor was beginning to get crowded. CJ nodded to the President and First Lady who were enjoying a gentle spin around the dance floor. 

"You owe me big time, my friend," Josh complained. "God it was like I was trapped back in 11th grade English, but there was no bell to end the torture. It was some interminable discussion of Alan Ginsberg's 'Howl'. Tabatha started to quote from the poem, then another of the women poets challenged her about some obscure metaphor, Sam and Toby joined in, and Jesus, CJ, all I wanted was for them to pass the butter." 

CJ laughed. "Yeah, they do get pretty intense about those pretty words, don't they." 

Josh nodded, then said, "She's really not so bad, you know." 

CJ was quiet, she leaned her head back and looked at Josh, weighing her words, and then answered softly. "She's actually a perfectly nice person, which I would point out, is pretty bitchy of her to be." 

"She doesn't know Jack shit about politics," Josh pointed out. 

"Well, you know some people actually go through their entire lives without being consumed by what the Democrats and Republicans are doing to each other." 

"But could you live with that kind of person 24-hours a day?" Josh asked incredulously. 

"Maybe you couldn't, mi amor. But some people obviously can," CJ replied sadly. 

"It's just a phase," Josh offered. 

"I'm not so sure about that," CJ responded. "She's so completely different than any other woman he's ever been interested in." 

"You're pretty unique yourself, Claudia Jean," Josh answered. 

"She's beautiful in a very traditional classic manner, which is my way of pointing out that she's not six feet tall and can wear heels without towering over the man she's dancing with," CJ said with a hint of vulnerability in her voice. 

Josh laughed softly. "You look beautiful, CJ. I think it's one of the things I've always admired about you. The way you carry yourself." 

"I intimidate people," CJ interjected. 

"Not because of your height," Josh laughed. "You could be four-foot-ten and you'd scare the shit out of people." 

"Yeah, you're right," CJ chuckled. "But I think he might want a relief from this life we lead. It's so damn intense, and the past few months have been, well, grim doesn't even begin to describe the hell we've been through." 

Josh paused, thinking about what CJ had just said. "I think you may be right about trying something different," he said quietly. "I know I was trying so hard to cope with all the crap that I went off the deep end with someone who was the polar opposite of what I really wanted and needed..." and he left unsaid what they both knew. 

"But in the end," Josh continued, as if the thoughts had been spoken, "I did wake up and smell the roses, or gather them, or whatever..." he ended with a smirk. 

"I'm really so happy for you both, honest," CJ whispered. "In some ways, that makes all this so hard. We were so close during the whole MS scandal, the hearings, the depositions, and finally the censure. And now, when we're finally coming out the other side..." 

Just then, the crowd seemed to part a little, and CJ caught a glimpse of Toby and Tabatha dancing. He had his arm tightly around her, his hand splayed across the back of her white, chiffon dress. Her blonde hair was in soft waves around her face. They were talking intently to one another, almost oblivious to the music. Tabatha nodded her head, in agreement to something Toby said, and he pulled her closer to him. 

CJ stopped dancing. Josh looked at her quizzically, and then followed her eyes to the couple across the room. Toby caught sight of Josh and CJ, murmured something to Tabatha, and the two of them started across the crowded dance floor. 

"I've got an early morning meeting," CJ suddenly began. She dropped Josh's hand, stepped back, and started walking quickly to the exit. 


	5. Poetry in Motion 5

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

The morning briefing went well. There weren't any further questions on Sarah Stickler's resignation. The reporters were too focused on the latest figures showing the economy was making a slow, but steady recovery. CJ fielded a couple of tricky questions on what the Federal Reserve was likely to do, dodged a mine field of a query on presidential contender Ritchie, and ended with a brief, detailed rundown on what the First Lady was wearing for an upcoming visit to the U.N. CJ walked out of the press room, feeling pretty good about herself. Carol was waiting on the other side of the door with a cup of coffee. 

"Nice going, boss," Carol said with a smile. "Nothing like being an expert on economics and fashion at the same time." 

"Yeah, I'm multi-talented," CJ laughed as she walked through the halls, leafing through the sheaf of papers her assistant had just handed her. Just as she was about to enter her office, Carol said, "By the way, Toby's waiting for you in there." 

CJ stiffened and her smile faded. She paused for a moment and then turned the door handle and entered to find the Communications Director sitting on her couch. 

"Morning," she said briskly. 

"You did good in there. That was a loaded question on the Fed," Toby said. 

"Oh, and here I thought you were going to compliment me on how I deftly worked in all the names of the American designers that the First Lady will be wearing on her visit to the U.N.," CJ countered with a small smile. 

Toby smiled in return and then was quiet. 

CJ was uncomfortable with the awkward silence and finally said, "So, you wanted something?" 

Toby looked at CJ with his piercing brown eyes. He ran his hand over the top of his head, and then stood and started pacing. 

"Why did you switch tables?" he wanted to know. 

"I just needed to corner the guy from Microsoft," CJ quickly explained. 

"Why?" Toby pushed. 

"There's going to be that super-conductor thing coming up," CJ hedged. 

"Which has absolutely nothing to do with Microsoft," Toby countered. 

"I just wanted to talk to an expert," CJ said defensively. 

"And the forty experts listed in the report couldn't have helped you?" Toby said pointedly. 

"Why do you care where I sat," CJ responded brusquely. 

"Because...because I thought you'd enjoy the company at the table," Toby stammered. 

"It was perfectly good company where I was seated," CJ replied firmly. 

"Fine," Toby growled. 

"Fine," CJ retorted. After another few moments of awkward silence, she said, "Anything else, because if not, I've got a full day." 

"No, that's it," Toby said with a scowl. He walked to the door, and started to say, "Why..." but didn't complete the question. 

"Why what?" CJ said in a challenging tone. 

"Nothing," Toby answered, his face getting the look of steel that frightened assistants and Republicans alike. 

Undeterred, CJ looked down at her desk and picked up a folder. In a brisk, professional voice, she said, "By the way, this is the stuff on the environmental impact of drilling in Alaska that Carol put together when we were presenting the new energy initiative. There are some updated stats that you might want to use when you meet with the Democrats on the committee." 

"Thanks," Toby said stiffly, but then gave a small smile as if trying silently to make peace. She gave a small smile in return. He reached out with his left hand to take the folder from CJ. She stared at his left ring finger, the white indentation the only reminder of where his wedding band had been for ten years. 

"CJ?" Toby asked, gesturing for her to hand him the folder. 

"Hmmm, oh yeah," and she handed him the report, quickly averting her eyes away from his ringless finger. "I've got some..." 

"Yeah, me too," Toby said, and left the room. 

CJ slowly sank into her desk chair and stared into space. She brushed the back of her hand across her eyes, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill over. She took a deep breath and reached for her Rolodex. 


	6. Poetry in Motion 6

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

Josh sat on the sofa sipping his coffee, Sam was going over some last minute changes on a speech with Toby, as they waited for CJ and Leo to start the 7 a.m. Senior Staff meeting. Finally, Leo walked in the door, and said, "OK folks, let's make this fast and easy." 

"Aren't we going to wait for CJ?" Sam asked. 

"CJ called me late last night and asked for a personal day," Leo answered. "She arranged with Henry to take the briefings. Carol gave him all the binders and reports early this morning. You got anything new to add to the announcement list from last night?" Leo turned and asked Toby. 

Toby's eyes narrowed as he looked carefully at the Chief of Staff, then said, "No. Let's go with what's on the list. Is CJ sick?" 

"I don't think so," Leo answered. "She just said she needed a personal day and that she'd be back tomorrow." 

"Is something wrong with her family?" Sam asked worriedly. 

"Folks, get a grip. She didn't sound sick or worried or anything. I don't know. She's a pro. She's never asked for a personal day off in four years. You don't think I should have said 'yes', and figured she knew what she was doing. Maybe it was some woman stuff. I didn't want to press," Leo said, getting exasperated. "Do you think Henry can't handle the briefings?" 

"No, he'll be fine," Toby snapped. "Sam, just check in with him before each briefing and monitor what's said. I've got meetings on the Hill most of the day, but I'll be back before the last briefing at 7." 

"Well, if we can move on then," Leo began. 

The meeting continued for another 25 minutes and when they broke, Josh stayed behind to discuss campaign strategy with Leo. Toby and Sam walked back to their offices, but as they passed CJ's office, Toby stopped. "I'm going to check in with Carol," he said. "You go find Henry." 

Sam nodded and headed off to the Deputy Press Secretary's office. 

"Carol?" Toby leaned into CJ's office where he found her assistant gathering up file folders from the desk. 

"Hi Toby. Can I help you?" Carol asked. 

"What's up with CJ?" Toby asked directly. 

"I've got no idea," Carol admitted. "She called me last night around 10:30 and said she wouldn't be in today. Told me to get all the briefing material to Henry by 7 this morning which I did." 

"Did she sound sick?" Toby asked. 

Carol paused for a moment thinking about the question, and then said, "No, she sounded tired, but otherwise fine." 

"So why did she take the day off?" Toby persisted. 

"I don't know. She just said she needed the time off. She didn't volunteer and I didn't think I should push. She would have told me if she'd wanted to," Carol replied. She paused for a moment and then asked, "Didn't she call you?" 

Toby didn't answer, just backed out of the doorway and walked to his office. Once there, he picked up the phone and hit the speed dial for CJ's home phone. When the answering machine picked up, Toby left a brief message asking CJ to call him as soon as possible on his cell phone because he'd be out of the office most of the day. He gathered up his files, stuffed them in his briefcase, and left for Capitol Hill. 

Several times during the daylong meetings, Toby excused himself, went out into the hallway, and called CJ. He left messages on her home phone, cell phone, and even beeped her twice. By the time he returned to the White House at 5:00, he was alternately pissed and frantic. 

He walked into his office to find Sam and Josh. "Any reason you're in here?" he asked irritably. 

"The monitor in my office is still broken and we wanted to watch Henry at the 4:00 briefing. He's just finished," Sam explained. 

"How'd he do?" Toby asked. 

"Fine, it was a slow news day," Josh answered. 

"Has anyone heard from CJ," Toby asked pointedly. 

Josh and Sam exchanged looks. Toby sensed something was going on. "What?" he demanded. 

"I just had a call from an old friend at Gage Whitney," Sam began and then stopped, looking at Josh as if to see if he should continue. Josh nodded. 

"So?" Toby pressed. 

"It seems Gage Whitney is representing Hill and Colton, the PR firm, which is merging with a British company." 

"In this lifetime, Sam, could you tell me what the hell this has to do with whether you heard from CJ today," Toby said, his voice rising. 

"Well, it appears that the British firm was pleased to announce during negotiations today that they think they have a star to head the London office," Sam continued. 

"Samuel," Toby warned the deputy director. "What are you saying?" 

"I'm telling you that CJ Cregg was job hunting today." 


	7. Poetry in Motion 7

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

It was almost 11 p.m. when CJ finally reached her apartment. She turned the key in the lock, pushed open the door, dropped her briefcase on the floor, and fumbled with the switch on the table lamp in the foyer. 

"Was your plan to pack up and leave in the middle of the night?" came a low voice from her darkened living room. 

"Jesus, Toby, you scared the shit out of me," CJ gasped. 

She walked into the room. The light from the foyer softly lit the bearded communications director. He sat on a wing-backed chair, holding a half-filled glass. She saw the bottle of scotch she normally kept in the credenza opened on the end table next to his chair. 

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" CJ demanded, running her hand through her hair. She reached to turn on a table lamp. 

"Don't," Toby said quietly. "And I used the key you gave me when you moved in," answering the second question and deliberately avoiding the first. 

Her hand fell to her side and she slid down on the couch across from him. 

"Seems like you're not returning calls today?" Toby began. CJ glanced at her answering machine, the message light flickering . 

"I've been gone since early this morning," she said in explanation. 

"And your cell phone and pager are out of order?" Toby pushed. 

"I'm tired, Toby. I don't want to get into a thing. We'll talk in the morning," CJ began, looking down at her hands and away from the piercing eyes of her boss. 

"When you announce your decision to quit at Senior Staff?" Toby asked bitterly. 

CJ's head snapped up. She stared at Toby for a few seconds until she discovered her voice. "How did you find out?" CJ asked. 

"Jesus, CJ. One day out of the beltway and you're losing your touch," Toby said with a soft sardonic laugh. "You know there's nothing secret in this town." 

"Who?" CJ began. 

"Next time you're playing cloak and dagger and planning secret meetings, you might want to check out the lawyers in the room," Toby pointed out. 

"I'm sorry," CJ said quietly. 

"Sorry to be leaving or sorry that I found out via Sam's old law buddies?" Toby demanded. 

"Both, and mostly sorry that your feelings are hurt. I was going to tell you before Senior Staff," CJ replied. 

"Thanks for the heads up," Toby said sarcastically, standing up to walk to the window and taking a long sip of his scotch. He looked out and with his back still to CJ said, "When do you have to be there?" 

"They want me there in a month. I was thinking maybe three weeks notice would give you enough time to find a replacement. That would still give me a week to pack up and all. Maybe Henry's ready?" CJ said nervously. 

"No," Toby said quickly, then added in an accusing voice, "He's a good backup but with the campaign and all, we need a seasoned pro. This is a really shitty time to be leaving, Claudia." 

"I'm sorry, but when opportunity comes knocking," CJ said defensively. 

"Bullshit, Claudia Jean," Toby spat out. "This opportunity didn't come knocking. You went out and scoured the bushes for it. You hate doing PR and since when do you want to live in London?" 

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence, Tobias," CJ said angrily. "It's not like I would know what is best for my life or anything." 

"Apparently not," Toby retorted. 

"I don't think there's much purpose in talking about this any further. I'll talk to Leo in the morning and then to the President," CJ said firmly, standing up to end the discussion. 

Toby drained the last of the scotch in his glass and put it down on the end table. He stared at CJ and shook his head. He walked to the door and paused, his hand on the knob. 

"I thought we didn't leave each other anymore," Toby said quietly. When there was no answer from CJ, he opened the door and walked out. 

CJ moved to the door, turned the lock, and flicked the light switch. In total darkness, she whispered, "But you left first."


	8. Poetry in Motion 8

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

CJ got into the office by 6:30 the next morning and already all hell was breaking loose. A wildfire was out of control in Montana; the Gross National Product stats were going to be released later in the day and they didn't look good; and Senator Gladstone had died in the middle of the night and the jockeying for who would replace him had already started. She sorted through her briefing papers, asked Henry to get backup material on the economic forecasts, sent Carol to ask Sam for appropriate language to use in expressing the President's condolences on Gladstone's demise, and called the Secretary of Interior's office for an update on the wildfire. At 7:30 she nervously walked into Leo's office for Senior Staff. 

Josh and Sam both shot her looks that telegraphed that they already knew about the job offer, but she quietly shook her head to indicate that they should keep their silence. Leo seemed unaware of any undercurrents, and started the meeting. 

"CJ, you got everything under control?" 

"Sure," she said confidently. "It's a busy news cycle, but I just spoke to the guys at Interior and it looks like they're getting the fire under control." 

"Where's Toby?" Sam asked. 

"This seems to be the week for personal time," Leo groused. "He'll be in later this morning." 

The meeting was short and to the point. Everyone had a lot on their plates and needed to get back to their offices and take care of the nation's business. Josh and Sam left, but CJ lingered for a moment. 

"Leo, I need to talk to you," CJ began. 

"Can't right now. I'm already late for a meeting on the Hill to discuss Gladstone's replacement," Leo replied, shoving folders into his briefcase. Margaret came into the office with his raincoat. He took it from her, nodded his thanks, and asked his assistant, "Am I free around 4 this afternoon?" 

Margaret went to Leo's desk, checked his calendar, and said, "You've got a four o'clock with Nancy McNally, but I could push it back to 4:30?" 

Leo took a long thoughtful look at CJ and said brusquely, "Yeah, do that." They walked out of his office, and he said, "I'll see you at 4 then." 

CJ nodded and started off for her office. Waiting outside her door were Josh and Sam. She shook her head as they approached. "Not now, guys. I've got to get my head in the game. We'll talk later," and brushed past them. She went into her office, got her briefing papers together, took a deep breath, and walked out into the press room. 

The room exploded as soon as CJ entered. As if she were choreographing a ballet, she danced her way through the persistent cries of a band of reporters hungry from the scent of possible disaster, both literally from the wildfire and politically given the GNP report and Gladstone's demise. But CJ, the consummate professional, answered each question with grace, insight, and where appropriate, good humor. She left the press room one hour later with reporters satisfied, stories favorable to the administration about to be filed. 

She paused outside the press room door and savored her sense of victory before handing her binders to Carol and walking briskly to her office. She was surprised to find the First Lady sitting on her couch watching the press room monitor. 

"Bravo, Claudia Jean, that was masterful." 

"Thank you," CJ smiled. "Did we have an appointment? How can I help you?" 

"No, just one friend coming to see another," Abbey said quietly. 

"Much as I enjoy your company, you don't usually just drop by without a purpose," CJ began carefully. 

"I've been thinking about it and I don't think you'll like living in London," Abbey stated firmly. "It's a wonderful city to visit, the theater is fabulous, but it's always so damn damp. Every morning you feel like your bones are creaking." 

"He told you," CJ hissed. 

"He's concerned," Abbey replied. 

"Did you tell the President, because I haven't said anything to Leo yet. We're meeting at 4," CJ worried. 

"No I didn't tell my husband. And I was wrong when I said Toby's concerned. Terrified is the better choice of word," Abbey argued. 

"Look, I mean no offense, but I don't want to discuss this with you. I've given it a lot of thought and I think," CJ offered. 

"How much thought could you have given it if you just got offered the job yesterday?" Abbey countered. 

"You know this has been a long time coming," CJ insisted. 

"But why now? Why do you have to leave D.C.?" Abbey pushed. 

"I thought I had time, Abbey. I was going to wait until after the election and tell him how I felt, but things have changed. I've got to get away," CJ said, the pain obvious in her voice. 

"I know he's 'ensorcelled' with this poet, but don't you think you're over-reacting, CJ?" Abbey demanded. 

"No I don't. He...he took off his wedding band, Abbey. He's worn that ring for the four years he's been divorced from Andi. Doesn't that tell you something?" 

"I don't know what it tells me, CJ. I only know that a desperate Toby Zeigler came to me early this morning and said he didn't know what to do. He told me that you were going to leave and that he didn't know how to stop you," Abbey argued. 

"And I'm telling you that I can't watch him marry another woman. I did that once and barely survived. Don't ask me to do that again," CJ pleaded. 

The two women stared at each other. As Abbey started to speak, CJ put up her hands. "Please Abbey, just wish me well." 

Abbey walked over to CJ and hugged her. Just then there was a tentative knock at the door, followed by a louder one, and the door opened before CJ could respond. 

"Let's go," Toby said firmly, standing in the doorway, eyes of steel. 

CJ crossed her arms and glared at the Communications Director. "How dare you go to Abbey?" she spat out. 

"We're not going to talk about this here. Let's go," Toby insisted. 

"I've got a meeting," Abbey said quietly, stepped around both CJ and Toby and left the office. 

"And I've got a 4 o'clock appointment with Leo," CJ said angrily. 

"You'll be back in plenty of time. I'm not debating this with you Claudia Jean. Get your coat and let's go...NOW. Fifteen years of friendship says you owe me something," Toby said evenly. 

CJ paused, grabbed her jacket, and brushed past Toby. She started to stop at Carol's desk, but Toby caught her elbow and said "Let's go." Turning to Carol, he then added firmly, "Unless they declare World War III, don't call, page, or bother us," and with that he propelled CJ out of the West Wing. 


	9. Poetry in Motion 9

**Poetry in Motion**

**by:** Evelyn

**Disclaimer:** Aaron Sorkin owns everything. 

**Category:** Romance, CJ/Toby

**Spoilers:** To be safe, through Season 3, but definitely including Dead Irish Writers and The U.S. Poet Laureate. 

**Rating:** TEEN

**Author's Note:** CJ and Toby are two of my favorite characters on The West Wing. They are both intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderfully witty. I only wish that Mr. Sorkin would give them the private lives so many of us believe they deserve. Until he does, there's always Fan Fiction. Many thanks to Shelley for her fabulous editing and incredible insight into all things Sorkin. Thanks too to Kimberly who encouraged me to write a CJ/Toby story.

* * *

"If you're quite finished playing cave man," CJ sputtered, as Toby navigated her to his car. 

"Get in," Toby said, as he opened the door. 

"Where the hell are we going?" CJ demanded, sliding into the front seat. 

"My apartment." Toby slammed the passenger door before CJ could say another word, then walked around the front of the car, opened his own door, and got in. 

"This is ridiculous," CJ complained. "I've got work to do, and if you get off your high horse, so do you." 

"And it will all be there in an hour." Toby pulled out of the White House garage and onto Pennsylvania Avenue. The drive to his apartment was short and neither one said a word until they were out of the car and walking to his building. 

"Toby, I don't want to do this," CJ said firmly, pulling to a halt outside of the apartment house. 

"Too damn bad. We're going to talk and we're going to talk now," Toby answered. 

CJ squared to face Toby directly. "It's not going to change anything. I'm sorry. Ok, I apologize. I shouldn't have gone behind your back, but I am taking the job. Now take me back to the White House and let me have my meeting with Leo." 

Toby eyes narrowed and his face got red. "Here's your choice. We either go into my apartment and talk or we're through. Got it? Finished. I don't want to hear from you again. You can't find the time now, then go ahead and get on the damn plane. Don't bother trying to talk to me later." Toby stood there glowering at her. 

CJ recoiled from the onslaught of his anger, and then wordlessly, turned and opened the apartment house door. They took the elevator to his floor and walked down the hall to his apartment where he let them both in. 

She crossed the living room, arms wound tightly around herself, and began looking at the photos that lined the mantle over the fireplace. They were mostly pictures of Toby's nephews and nieces, with a few shots of the Senior Staff during the campaign. In the front was a photo of the two of them dancing at the Inaugural Ball. And in the back, was a small photo from an Instamatic camera of Toby and CJ, taken 12 years earlier in front of Rockefeller Plaza in New York. She lifted it up and smiled softly. 

"I'd finally convinced you to go ice skating," CJ said. "How could you have grown up in New York City and never gone ice skating at Rockefeller Center?" 

"I was from Brooklyn. You couldn't play stickball at Rockefeller Center so what was the point?" Toby laughed softly. 

"That was a magical day," CJ remembered, staring at the photo. 

"Yeah. But two months later you left for California," Toby said with a tinge of sharpness in his voice. 

"I didn't think I was ready for what you wanted," CJ put the photo back on the shelf with a sigh. 

Toby turned and looked out the window. "So you took a job in California and were gone within a week." 

"And within 18 months, you were married to Andi." 

Toby took a deep breath and turned back to face CJ. 

"Do you like your job at the White House?" 

His question startled CJ. 

"Of course," she answered quickly. 

"So why are you quitting?" Toby persisted, his eyes boring into her. 

CJ looked away from Toby's stare and said quietly, "Because it's not enough for me anymore." 

"So what do you want?" Toby demanded, his voice rising. 

His challenge was met with silence, but then squaring her shoulders, CJ faced Toby. 

"As long as we're playing truth or dare, let me ask a few questions," she said, her voice matching his in pitch. "Why did you take off your wedding ring?" 

"Because I was finally ready," he answered firmly. 

"Ready for what?" 

"Ready to take a chance again." 

"On what?" CJ pushed. 

"On love," Toby answered, and CJ flinched. 

After a moment, she said softly, "Then let me go to London. I'm happy for you Toby. I want you to find someone to love. You deserve it. But I can't do it again. I can't be the gracious wedding guest when you marry Tabatha." CJ crossed the room and stared out the window at the Washington street scene below. 

"Tabatha Fortes," Toby began, "is an enchanting, beautiful, talented woman. Her poetry is magical and talking to her about literature and the world of words takes me away from the pettiness and misery of the world in which we live." 

"I understand," CJ said, her back still to Toby. 

He looked at her and taking a deep breath, he continued softly, "But when I read her poetry, I think of you," Toby walked to the window and put his arms around CJ. She leaned back and let him envelop her in his embrace. 

Quietly, almost in a whisper, CJ said, "She would be good for you. Take you away from this madness." 

"I don't want to get away from this madness. I didn't become a novelist, CJ. I love the power of words, but I also love the intensity of the good fight. And I want you. I've always wanted you." 

CJ turned around to face Toby, wrapping her arms around him, and burying her face in his shoulder. Her voice was muffled, but the fear in her voice was clear. "I'll quit anyway. I'll stay in DC, but do something else, with regular hours and less craziness." 

"You don't have to do that. We can make it work both doing what we love to do," Toby argued. 

"Tell that to Sarah Stickler," CJ retorted. Then added softly, "I love my job, I really do. But I've waited a long time for this. I don't want to blow it. I'm afraid. The hours we keep, the pressure we're under. It's too much. You and Andi couldn't do it." 

He stepped back to look in her eyes, but kept his arms on her shoulders. "Nobody's quitting anything yet. Andi and I didn't break up over the work. That's probably what kept us together for as long as we did. But if our jobs begin to endanger what we have, CJ, then maybe I'll quit and you'll stay on." Then he laughed, "You know for a liberated woman, you seem to be focused on a very traditional script." 

Searching his eyes, CJ nodded. Then with a small smile tugging at her lips, she added mischievously, "And you'll stay home with the baby?" 

Toby laughed, then nodded, "Sure." 

CJ grinned, but asked, "Really? I mean not about you staying home with a baby," and her voice grew serious, "but you want to have one, you want to have kids?" 

Toby grinned and said, "What? You don't think men have biological clocks too?" 

They stared at each other, savoring the moment. Then Toby pulled CJ close and kissed her, at first tentatively, then with the passion of years exploding between them. They finally broke for air,as CJ's pager went off. They burst out laughing. 

"It's Leo," CJ said after checking the number. She reached out for Toby and brought him close for a kiss. "I'll call him back in a minute." 

"Or maybe five," Toby said simply. 


End file.
